


Text Talk

by psykhe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crossdressing, Kenma likes to cosplay, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 07:25:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7036075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psykhe/pseuds/psykhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi doesn't understand what he did to deserve a best friend like Oikawa. Sometimes, he wishes he could go back in time and prevent them from ever meeting.</p><p>(Or where Akaashi and Oikawa, amongst others, work at a crossdressing café and Akaashi regrets his life choices.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Text Talk

**Author's Note:**

> idk where i'm going with this tbh. but yay crossdressing?

 

  
_Pretty._

It's a word he's familiar with. It also used to irk him to no end. Now he pretends to accept it.

He takes a glance at the mirror, fingertips touching his reflection. Eyelashes a bit too long, features too sharp, unblemished skin. He's tall and slim, and despite what others have said about how beautiful his body was, what he wouldn't give to have more defining muscles. His legs are a bit long, though not ones that go on for days like a certain glasses-wearing blond.

He doesn't see why he's called pretty. The brunet he worked with was pretty. He was just...

"Average."

_Ugly._

* * *

  
"Hey hey hey! Akaashi!"

"Welcome, Bokuto-san," he bowed politely at the regular at the café, "I see you've brought some friends?" His lips quirked, a forced but practiced little smile appearing on his face. He places a menu in front of each of the men and women at the table.

"Yeah! I told them about this place and how pretty you were and they wanted to check it out!"

There was that word again. Akaashi's smile faltered as he bit the inside of his cheek, "thank you, you're too kind." He watched as Bokuto grinned and look at his friends expectantly.

"Well you're not wrong bro," the messy haired one finally spoke, his lips set in a smirk.

Akaashi bowed his head once more, accepting the compliment. "I'll give you a moment to decide. Feel free to call me once you are ready." There was the fake smile again as he left the table, feeling eyes on him.

He must be imagining things.

* * *

  
"So."

"So?"

"Well? I saw all that. You're usually better at that little act of yours," Oikawa was always a perceptive one, "also, Bedhead-kun was totally checking you out. I think he was undressing you with his eyes, probably imagining fucking you into his bed or something."

Any retort that Akaashi was about to make died in his throat as he whipped his head to face Oikawa, face hot. He spluttered some sort of noise before seeming to choke, grabbing the  soda from Oikawa's hands and quickly downing it. It took some time before he regained his composure and willed the blush away, "you can't be serious."

Oikawa gave him a knowing smile, "trust me, I've got a good eye for this kinda thing." He ignored the look Akaashi was giving him, instead  walking behind the male to straighten out his wig. "Now go get 'im tiger. God knows how long it's been since you got some," Oikawa laughed, smacking the other's ass and pushing him in the direction of Bokuto's table.

* * *

  
Akaashi was bringing away the empty dishes, returning to the kogal-dressed Oikawa having a laugh with the girl at Bokuto's table. Even dressed in drag, the charismatic male had no trouble getting females to flock around him. Akaashi wondered how he dealt with the constant attention - he knew that if he were to have eyes on him at all times, to pretend that everything was going along swimmingly , he'd probably have some sort of anxiety attack. Luckily, he tended to turn away most people due to his uncaring disposition, save for when he was at work and feigned most of his emotions. "Will that be all for today?"

"Actually, I'll hav-"

"No," the girl was shot down before Akaashi even had time to withdraw his notepad, "we'll have the bill."

He glanced at the pouting faces of Bokuto and the girl, before looking at the tanned male. He cocked his head to the side, nodding slowly. Oikawa flashed them all a smile before leaving to print their receipts, a bounce in his step which made some of the customers stare lecherously to see if the already short skirt would rise even higher.

* * *

 

  
_'One new message.'_

Akaashi was in the midst of changing in the back room when he received a text. He placed the now-folded [schoolgirl](http://www.zerochan.net/1999465) uniform he wore throughout the day back in his locker, pulling on white skinny jeans and an oversized, wide-necked sweater. He then donned his feet with the standard converse, and put on the plain black choker that he had received as a gift for his birthday. Finally he took his phone and glanced at the message, narrowing his eyes at the unknown number.

**To:** Akaashi  
_Is ur dad an art thief? cuz ur a masterpiece_

It took restraint on Akaashi's part to not smack himself in the face.

**From:** Akaashi  
_Who is this?_

**To:** Akaashi  
_Ill tell u my name if u promise2 scream it l8ter_

Akaashi groaned, opening a new text.

**To:** Oikawa  
_Did you give my number out to strangers again?_

**From:** Oikawa  
_What do you mean Kei-chan?☆=(ゝω･) v_

Of course he did.

With a sigh, he pocketed his belongings and left the café, waving at his coworkers that were still closing up. He was in the train when another text popped up.

**To:** Akaashi  
_2 4wrd? i can tone it dwn._

The text talk was giving him a headache. Without a chance to respond, another text soon followed.

**To:** Akaashi  
_If i dust off my pants wud u sit on my lap?_

Akaashi held back a snort. Really. What loser was Oikawa trying to set him up with?

* * *

  
The next time Akaashi sees Oikawa, he glares at him. Oikawa doesn't seem the least bit bothered by it, instead flashing a peace sign at the disgruntled male. The brunet is about to speak when the shorter male beats him to it. "Who did you give my number to?"

"When did I ever say I gave someone your number?" Oikawa has that bright, fake smile of his.

Akaashi figured that Oikawa would try and play it off. Usually, when the other gave his number (something that really shouldn't be a common experience) Akaashi managed to turn the other person away.

This one, however, was persistent as fuck.

It had been two days, two goddamn days, of constant, cheesy pick-up lines. Two days of bad puns, irritating text talk and aversion to any questions of who the stranger was. Two days of wanting to throw his phone against the wall in frustration. Two days of said stranger trying to take him out for drinks. As proof, Akaashi opened their mostly one-sided text conversation and scrolled quickly through it to show the scheming brunet.

Oikawa smirked at the frustrated noise that left his coworker. Akaashi was usually a patient, calm person. Never before had he seen him so worked up. Oikawa felt like he deserved a medal. Instead, he settled for a shit-eating grin as he flashed a peace sign before grabbing Akaashi's cellphone to see read what the mystery man sent him.

"Maybe if you meet up and clearly show your disinterest, they'll stop," Kenma spoke from his spot perched on the counter, PSP in hand. He had forced up the eyepatch from his [Misaki Mei](http://www.zerochan.net/1266447) cosplay so he could better focus on the game until the café opened.

  
Hopefully it wouldn't have to come to that.

 

"Here ya go~" Oikawa handed back his phone, laughing at what he could only assume was the terrible jokes, "now go get ready, we're about to open in fifteen."

 

Akaashi missed the crafty look Oikawa had on his face when he turned around.

 

  
**From:** Akaashi

_I'm free Friday night (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ let's have some fun!_


End file.
